Tribulation Saint

Historic Christianity in the Twenty First Century

Month: April, 2017

PARENTING

 

4.2.7

Anthony van Dyck: Family Portrait, 1621

 

 

Being a parent is perhaps one of the greatest challenges any human being can face, and we have all probably fallen short in this area.  And here as in other areas of life God’s Word offers valuable guidance.  If there was ever a time when it was needed, it is now.

“And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4; NKJV).  Significantly, this is addressed specifically to “fathers.”   Mothers obviously have an important role in parenting, but as the head of the household the responsibility for childrearing falls squarely on the shoulders of the father.  He bears ultimate responsibility for the upbringing of his children.

And like so many biblical exhortations this one contains both a negative and a positive.  The negative command is this: “fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath . . .”   Or, as it stated in the parallel passage in Colossians, “Fathers, so nor provoke your children, lest they become discourage” (Col. 3:21).  Tragically this is where many fathers fail today.  How many adults still bear the emotional scars that resulted from the abusive treatment they received as youngsters from their fathers?

But no child likes being disciplined; how is a father supposed to correct his children?  Obviously a spanking would cause short term pain, but what leads to lasting anger and resentment is the perception of injustice.  If the rules have not been made clear, if punishment is haphazard and inconsistent, if the children are treated differently from each other, this will naturally lead to anger and resentment.  This the father should never do.

On the positive side fathers are instructed to “bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”  It is not exactly clear how Paul intended to differentiate “training” and “admonition.”  The two words mean nearly the same thing.  The Greek word translated “training” (paideia) originally meant childrearing, and then by extension education in its broadest sense.  But in the Greek translation of the Old Testament, the Septuagint, it is used to translate the Hebrew word musar, which carries with it the distinct meaning of chastisement, punishment, correction and discipline.  The difference is significant.  For the ancient Greeks the root of man’s difficulty was ignorance, and the aim of paideia was to impart knowledge, and its highest form was found in literature.  But the Bible presents a different view of things.  Man is partially ignorant because his will is stubborn.  He does not want to behave righteously, and therefore he more or less deliberately distorts his view of reality.  He uses a false worldview as a cover for his rebellion.  Child discipline, then, involves changing both the mind and will, and this in turn requires the skillful use of rewards and punishments.  “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; / The rod of correction (musar) will drive it from him” (Prov. 22:15).

But there is more to child-rearing than just corrective discipline; there is also “admonition” or verbal instruction as well.  And that raises the question of what we should be teaching our children.  Significantly, in this passage says “bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”  In other words, parents have a responsibility to provide their children with an education that is Christian.

The reason is simple.  First of all, the purpose of an education ought to be more than prepare one for a job.  It should equip one to live life.  Solomon outlines the purpose of education in the opening verses of the Book of Proverbs:

“To know wisdom and instruction,

To perceive the words of understanding . . .”

(Prov. 1:2)

Wisdom, in the Bible, is the ability to manage one’s affairs in every area of life, and it involves both technical skills and human relationships.  To that end the aim of education should be

“To give prudence to the simple,

To the young man knowledge and discretion . . .” (v. 4).

(The word “simple” here refers to a person who is gullible and naïve.)  Thus the aim of a sound education is not just simply to be able to earn a living, but to make wise decisions in every area of life.

This, in turn, requires a well-defined set of values based on a Christian worldview.  If we live in a world that was created by God, the only way we can make sense out of it is to understand it as God’s creation.  Everything has meaning and purpose because of the way that God created it.  Once God is removed from the picture all we are left with is a jumble of unrelated facts.  This is why Solomon could say, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge . . .” (v. 7a).

Never have the stakes been higher.  American family life has crumbled.  We have raised a whole generation that does not know what a stable family life is, has no sense of morality, and has been fed a steady diet of consumerism.  As society around us goes to hell in a handbasket, it is up to Christian parents to preserve what is left of Western Civilization by bringing up their children “in the training and admonition of the Lord.”

THE CHRISTIAN IN THE WORLD

             In our blog post three weeks ago (“What God Thinks of the Modern Church” – March 18, 2017) we saw that the church’s aim should not be the preservation of America’s civil religion.  But what should its aim be?  How is the Christian supposed to relate to the surrounding world?

In Titus 2:11-14 the apostle Paul gives us a brief summary of what the Christian life is supposed to look like.  It is a different kind of lifestyle based on a distinctively Christian worldview.

It begins with a historical fact: “For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men . . .” (v. 11; NKJV).  Here he is undoubtedly referring back to the first advent of Christ and His death on the cross that opened up to all mankind the possibility of salvation.  This was the great turning point in history.

But what effect does this have on us?  Paul goes on to say that salvation is “teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age . . .” (v. 12).  Here it will be seen that there is both a negative and a positive side to the Christian life.  On the negative side we are to “deny ungodliness and worldly lusts.”  The word “ungodliness” might better be translated “impiety” – it is the lack of devotion to or reverence for God.  A good modern term would be “secularism,” the absence of God in our thinking.  “Worldly lusts” are the self-centered desires that drive most human behavior – the lust for pleasure, wealth, fame or power.  We sometimes dress it up as “enlightened self-interest” or “the profit motive.”  It is consumerism.  These are the things which typically drive human behavior outside of Christ, and the Christian must “deny” these things – he must turn his back on all of this, leaving it all behind.  He has been called to a higher life.

On the positive side we are to “live soberly, righteously, and godly.”  To live soberly means to exercise sound judgment in all of the decisions that we make.  It means that we do not go through life pursuing pleasure with reckless abandon, but we carefully weigh the consequences of the actions we take.  We look to promote the glory of God and the wellbeing of our fellow man.

But we are also to live “righteously,” which means to live in accordance with God’s law.  God is our Creator, our Lawgiver and Judge.  We can find happiness and fulfillment in life only when we live in accordance with His will and purposes.

And then we are live “godly,” or “piously,” as the word might better be translated.  We are to give God his proper place in our lives, to have a genuine and heartfelt devotion towards Him, and to acknowledge Him in all our ways.

All of this we are to do “in the present age,” the time in which we are now living.  The Bible often contrasts “the present age” with “the age which is to come”; and “the present age” is marked by sin and evil.  Nevertheless the Christian is expected to live a godly life now, in the present age.

But why should we do this?  Why should we run the risk of social ostracism and financial failure by refusing to conform?  The answer is because we are “looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ” (v. 13).  The Christian looks forward to the future, and what he sees is “the glorious appearing” of Christ, His visible return at the end of the age when He comes to establish a new order of things here on earth.  The Christian is conscious that what we experience now will not last forever.  Christ will return and things will be entirely different.  The Christian lives for tomorrow and not for today.

It should be kept in mind that God’s whole purpose in our salvation is to free us, not just from the guilt of sin, but also from its power.  Christ “gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works” (v. 14).  The word “redeem” means to pay a ransom and thereby secure the release of a slave or prisoner.  We were once under the power and guilt of sin.  Christ paid the penalty for that sin by dying on the cross and thereby secured our salvation.  And He did this at enormous cost to Himself: He “gave Himself” for us.

But why did He do this?  What was His aim and purpose?  It was not just to forgive us, although that was certainly a part of it, but also to sanctify us: “. . .that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works.”  It was sin that got us into trouble; Christ freed us from that condition.  Now we are “His own special people,” a people of His own possession; we now belong to Him.  And as such we are to be “zealous for good works” – we are not to conform half-heartedly to an external set of rules; we are to desire earnestly to do good for others.

The Christian, then, is called to a life of non-conformity to the surrounding world.  He does not have the luxury of living the life of a nice, comfortable, middle-class existence.  He is conscious of answering to a higher Power; and that will eventually bring him into conflict with the values of the surrounding world.  This will require personal sacrifice on his part – the possible loss of job, family, reputation  It may even invite on occasion legal prosecution.  But faithful to God he must remain.  The sacrifice is temporary; the gain is eternal.  May God grant us all the grace to live for Him!